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I attended a workshop on Writing Effective Dialogue at the Birmingham Book Festival last weekend. For the the first exercise the tutor played a recording of a normal conversation and asked us to write our own interpretation. This is what I wrote.--o0o--
Sarah pushed open the heavy door, reached in and pulled at the light cord. The room gradually filled with a dull glow.“It's big,” said Stephen. “Am I the only one using it?”
“Yes, it's all yours.”
“Fantastic.”
“It used to be the morgue.”
“Ah, that would explain the strange smell.”
Sarah walked almost 30 feet to the end of the room and pressed a couple of buttons on the control panel that was fixed on the wall. Stephen heard the slow hum of the air conditioning as it started up.
“That should clear it in a few minutes,” Sarah said when she got back.
“Thanks.”
“You can rearrange the tables any way you like.”
“Great.”
“When you've finished just make sure you get them to complete those forms,” she said pointing to a pile of papers by the water dispenser in the corner.
“OK.”
“We've put your stuff is in that cabinet and I'll bring your people up in half an hour or so. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Yes please, milk no sugar.”
“OK, I'll leave you to it and get one send down.”
“Great,” said Stephen as he walked to the cabinet in the corner and struggled to remove a large black leather bag.
My inspiration for this piece of flash fiction came from half an hour of people-watching in a bar near Matlock in Derbyshire.The Woman in the Black Dress
Neil was fed up. He’d been in the bar for 20 minutes and already finished half his pint. He had to drive back to the office so he couldn’t really have another. He just hoped that Jen wouldn’t be too long. He glanced across the room at the group of women eating their sandwiches in the corner. They looked like they were friends from work, although one stood out from all the rest. She had a Roman nose and a sculptured face extenuated by her hair that was put up and fixed with a large black clip. Her only concession to colour was the deep blue nail varnish that matched her eyes. Otherwise she was dressed completely in black. An ankle-length black dress with a low cut neckline and short sleeves. Her almost Gothic appearance was polished off with a pair of black leather flip-flops and gold earrings the size of curtain-rings. She ate her prawn sandwich without saying a word, although occasionally she looked up and listened to the buzz of everyone else’s conversation. Whenever she bit into her sandwich the mayonnaise dripped onto the chips on her plate. Every now and then she put the sandwich down, stretched her long slender fingers and wiped them on the red napkin which was on the table beside her. She’d then pick up a chip and eat it seductively. Neil was captivated and watched her unashamedly. He wondered what on earth she was doing with all the other women. She seemed so out of place.‘Sorry, the traffic was a nightmare,’ announced Jen as she scraped the chair over the floor and sat down. Neil looked up slightly annoyed at the interruption and said, ‘That’s OK, what would you like to drink?’
I'm writing a piece of fast fiction for Worcester Writers' Circle on the theme of a “domestic dilemma”. My inspiration has come from a 140 character story posted on Twitter by @veryshortstory. I have used it as the first sentence. As you can see from the title, I have already come up with a possible ending. But I wondered if you might have some ideas which you could leave as a comment.
The Dinner Party
Brian held her pretty hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. Enjoying the moment, then putting it with the rest, in the freezer.
He gently closed the lid and heard the seal sigh when he turned the key to lock it. Even though the garage was attached to the house he didn't want to take a chance with nosy kids or a sneak thief. He went though the connecting door to the kitchen and sat down at the table to get his breath back.
It wasn't as though she was heavy, he just didn't realise how awkward a dead body could be. But it was done. He looked at the kettle for a moment, then got up and took a bottle of wine from the cupboard in the corner. He frowned when he stared at the label and selected another instead. On the way to the living room he grabbed the notepad and pencil that Emily always kept by the phone in the hall.
He carefully placed the bottle and the notepad on the coffee table and went to the sideboard to get the corkscrew and a red wine glass. Before he sat down on the sofa he withdrew the cork and sniffed it out of habit. He then poured a large glass and admired it's deep colour, like damson jam. Now he sat down to think.
He had two simple problems, really just many other domestic dilemmas. The first was what to do with all the food that he'd had to remove so Emily would fit. And the second problem was how to dispose of the freezer. He couldn't very well ring up the council, nor could he take it down to the tip in his estate car. He took another slug of his wine and wrote a few things on the pad. Only one looked like it might work, but it would take a lot of courage. He leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He'd just have to hope that the money came through soon.
I had a coffee in Birmingham yesterday and watched a young couple chatting a couple of tables away. I was fascinated by the fact that he only ever looked at her when she talked. So I wrote these 200 words this morning as writing practice.Video Chat
Ami stared at the laptop with Harry’ s voice in her earphones. ‘Why didn’ t he ever look at her when he talked?’ At first she’ d thought he had another computer screen to one side. But sometimes he looked to the other way, so it couldn’ t be that. Maybe he just didn’ t like to chat face to face.Her finger flicked over the touchpad and his face zoomed out to fill the screen. He looked sexy with a three-day stubble and short dark hair gelled all spiky. She could see his hairy chest in V neck of his red polo shirt and clearly saw the bluebird tattooed on the right side of his neck. Or was it his left? She was never sure with video chat. He was going on about the latest computer game and she was mesmerised by the sight of his lip stud flashing in the light. It was in the corner of his mouth and every now and then she got a glimpse of his tongue stud. They always turned her on.He leaned back and scratched his chin. ‘The stubble must be itchy,’ she thought. Suddenly he stopped mid-sentence and froze. ‘Damn,’ she said. ‘Blood thing’ s locked again.’
Six weeks ago Harper Collins commissioned me to write a 24,000 word book on marketing. I delivered the manuscript last week and they accepted it without any changes, which was great news. It was a hard five weeks where I wrote something most days. But I did it, and I learnt a lot about writing non-fiction.- Non-fiction takes longer to write than fiction which comes from one's imagination without the need for much research.
- Preparation seems to be the key to non-fiction. Unlike fiction where my characters and scenes have a life of their own and develop in real time as I write them.
- I found it easier to prepare a structure with the titles of each chapter and the headings for each topic. I agreed these with the publisher before I put pen to paper.
- It was great to have a professionally designed format that the publisher insisted I stick to. It was relatively easy to write the contents and it made sure that I didn't waffle.
- I seem to work best in two-hour chunks. After that my brain hurt and I lost concentration and flow. I've discovered that I write best first thing in the morning after a walk and breakfast.
- You should write it all the way through before you read anything you've written. When I read previous chapters I got distracted and fiddled with them. In the end I just wrote it until I'd finished.
- It's easiest to skip over the bits that need more research or effort and back-fill when you reach the end. Otherwise you lose momentum.
- My brain is always miles ahead of my fingers on the keyboard. I wrote it all by hand in a notebook and then edited as I typed it in. I think that added extra time so I will go on a touch-typing course at the local college in the Autumn.
- When I write fiction I always read it out aloud. I did the same with this book after I'd back-filled it. That took four hours but it highlighted some poor grammar, typos and the odd bit of weak structure.
I reckon that it took me around 60 hours to completely write, redraft and tweak 24,000 words on a subject that I know a lot about. Whether that's par for the course, I have no idea. But I am pleased with the result and, more importantly, so is Harper Collins. They plan to publish my book as one of a series in January 2010.Peter Spalton, soon to be a published author.
I have placed the instructions for this Writing Adventure Group challenge at the end of this post. But in essence it was about a time when you wished you could change something that happened. If Only...
Emily’s mobile bleeped above the noisy crowd. She rummaged in the Gucci bag that Daryl had given her for Christmas. Her heart missed a beat when she saw it was a message from Steve. It had only been a week although it seemed like a month of sleepless nights when she couldn’t get him out of her head.Nervously she pressed the OK key and winced when she saw the three-word message. Her thumb frantically worked the keys in response, ‘What brought that on?’ She pressed send, sat back and looked aimlessly around the departure lounge as she waited for his reply. It was buzzy with business people this time of the year with one or two couples jetting away for a short break. Emily was due to be called in ten minutes and then she’d be on her way to Dundee. Not long for her to make a final choice. She looked blankly at the ceiling and frowned. Then, before he could reply she reached for her phone with determined look and sent another message, ‘I love you too, but you should have said...it’s too late now.’Instructions for “WAG #14: Do-Overs” Thanks to Carol for the topic idea! (This one is more of a mental/emotional exercise than observational, but you get bonus points if you can somehow tie this to a person you can see and describe OR a physical object.) Think of a time where you’d like to change what happened - whether it’s to get that witty retort in or to say something you never got the chance to say. Write how it should have been and compare it to the reality.
I had plenty of time for this week’s Adventure as I spent an hour and a half on the train to London. Loads of time to scribble. The Adventure, an idea from Lulu, was to describe something from memory and include as much detail as possible including impressions. My own personal challenge was to write it in the first person (a new one for me) and from a female point of view (which I had done before, but never in this context). I’ll leave you to decide which parts are memories and which are pure fantasy. I suppose I should warn you that it contains erotic images.Wonderful Memories
My thinking spot was calm and restful. All I could hear was the brook bubbling and a pair of buzzards screeching as they flirted high in the sky. The rough bark of the giant chestnut tree pressed into my back and the cool damp earth penetrated my blanket. I closed my eyes and thought of Robert. My mind wandered and drifted back to our first night together almost a year ago.
He’d sent me a text when he got the hotel and said that he’d book in and wait in his car. I felt just like a teenager again as I drove slowly up the gravel drive to a small country hotel that looked like it had been build by a wealthy Victorian industrialist. I saw Robert sat in his car and the butterflies in my stomach added to the tension so I took two attempts to park. At last I switched off the engine and he came over. He looked so elegant, handsome and sexy.
Fumbling to get my handbag off the passenger’s seat I almost dropped it, but luckily I didn‘t. I got out and managed to straightened my dress before he reached me. I’d chosen a little strappy summer one the colour of ripe peaches with heels to match. He said ‘you look lovely’ and kissed me on the lips before he took my hand. I’m sure I must have smiled even though my stomach was churning. He took my bag and we nervously walked hand in hand through the front door and, with a nod to the girl behind the desk, upstairs.
The room was a giant bay window in the shape of a semi-circle. Against the straight wall was a king sized bed positioned so you could look out over the formal rose garden and manicured lawns. I thought it was perfect place for our first tryst.
‘Lovely, isn’t it?’ He said as he put my bag down in the corner, ‘would you like to freshen up before we have a drink?’
‘Yes if you don’t mind’, I replied as I moved closer to him. I could almost feel the warmth of his body and sensed his nervousness. It was like we were fifteen again. He put his arms around me and we kissed slowly and softly. He smelt lovely and I felt him gently nibble my bottom lip which conjured up scrumptious thoughts and made me feel squidgy. Unfortunately he broke off, took a deep breath and said ‘why don’t you go and wash so we can then have a drink in the garden.’
I walked slowly to the bathroom and looked around seductively as I opened the door. I kept him waiting for a few minutes before I came out with fresh lipstick and a sly smile. We walked downstairs onto the terrace and he picked a table for two overlooking the rose garden and the fields towards the church in the distance. The waiter came over with the menus and Robert asked what I’d like to drink. I suggested dry white wine as I didn’t want to fall asleep quite yet. He ordered a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
Drinks and dinner were leisurely and, even though I could see that Robert was eager, I took my time to savour the food and even ordered coffee to build the anticipation. So it was about 10 o’clock when we eventually walked upstairs hand in hand. He was obviously nervous as he fumbled with the key a few times before he managed to unlock the door.
Although it was still light outside and the curtains were open, he’d left on one of the bedside lamps. My heart was in my mouth as he moved slowly and purposefully towards me, leant down and kissed me on the mouth. His lips were soft, moist and tasted sweet in spite of the coffee. I felt his hands wander down my back and over my bottom. I pulled myself into him and he responded by sliding his hands up my sides until they were almost on my breasts. I knew that he could feel the curve of my left breast and I felt his hand move slowly until the palm pressed on my nipple. I knew he would feel it getting erect and that excited me.
He gently slipped the straps of my dress over my shoulders and I wiggled my hips so it slid down to the floor. I stepped backwards out of it and started to unbutton his shirt. ‘My turn now,’ I thought as I put my palms on his chest and pushed it off his shoulders. Then I pulled him close so I could feel his bare chest against my body. ‘I love skin,’ I whispered in a deep sexy voice.
‘Yes, so do I,’ he murmured.
I wanted him to undo my bra, but he didn’t. So I pulled his shirt out of his trousers and let it fall to the floor. Backing towards the bed I sat down, kicked off my heels and lay back with my hands behind my head to watch him take off his shoes, socks and chinos. He looked fit and I was glad that I’d bought some special underwear. I knew that I’d made the right choice when I saw the pleasure on his face as he feasted his eyes on my lacy balcony-bra and tiny panties. Peachy and almost see through with tiny light brown flowers embroidered in the silk. I closed my eyes as he knelt down beside me, smelt his aftershave and imagined him admiring my smooth body.
It seemed ages before I felt his breath on my tummy which was quickly followed by a kiss just before he ran his fingertips over the top of my leg. My stomach stirred with anticipation as he moved his kisses further up my body almost casually brushing each of my breasts through my bra. I heard myself moan and could feel my nipples pressing hard against the fabric. The sensation sent a tingle down my body and I desperately wanted him to take it off and suck them hard. Instead he kissed my neck and eased his finger under the top of my bra to rub it against my nipple. He lay down beside me and flicked his tongue into my ear which made me shiver. I turned towards him and smiled as he tweaked the clash of my bra between his thumb and fore finger. Oh what relief to feel my breasts set free at last.
I sensed rather than felt his lips brush lightly over my left nipple, but I felt myself quiver when the tip of his tongue circled the one on my right breast. Now I wanted him and I pulled his head down so he would suck them hard. The sensation was delicious. I felt his fingers moving between my legs and I knew that my wetness was seeping through my panties. The knot in my stomach tightened when he pulled them to one side. I reached down and grasped him, he felt good.
At that moment the urgency overwhelmed us both and with a flurry of limbs we were lying naked side by side. I turned him onto his back and sat astride his stomach with a wicked laugh. He responded by reaching up and rolling both my nipples between a finger and thumb. I leant back and he pulled hard. There was no pain, just exquisite pleasure.
I saw him watch as I bent down towards him and sensed his skin tingle as I swept my breasts over his tummy. I could now feel him hard between my cleavage and I knew that my hair brushed against his chest when I teased and kissed him. Suddenly he rolled me onto my back and, with a sense of urgency, I reached down to guide him. It wasn’t long before I was panting as I rode the wave and I felt myself squeeze him tighter and tighter as I got louder and louder until my legs shook and shook.
We lay there in each other’s arms with the breeze from the open window cooling the sweat off our bodies. As I started to doze I knew that I’d always cherish the pressure of his chest against my breasts and the comfort of our legs intertwined. I kissed him gently before I drifted into a blissful sleep.
I subconsciously felt Robert stir and vaguely heard the doves cooing outside the window. I thought that he reached out to check that I was still here before he kissed me gently on the cheek. I felt his hands wander over my back and I started to come alive. My skin tingled as he ran his fingers down my backbone and between my legs. I felt myself drift into another world as he started to work his magic on me. Almost automatically I pressed my hips towards him so I could feel him hard against my stomach.
Much later we sat in bed drinking tea and chatting about nothing in particular.
A blackbird suddenly rustled in the bushes and dragged me back to my thinking spot. I smiled wistfully as I remember the wonderful moments we’d had together, now just memories. We were married, it was just a shame it was not to each other.
