Sunday 26 April 2009

Entry for Writing Adventure Group - WAG 9

This is my second submission for the Writing Adventure Group and at first I thought it would be a real challenge. But I jotted down a few ‘what ifs’ and came up with this scenario. I spent about five minutes scribbling it down in pencil (which is how I write) and another ten or so typing and editing. I have put the instructions for the theme at the end of the post.


Forbidden Fruit

The sun bounced off its shiny reddish green skin and caught Emma’s eye as she drew back the bedroom curtains. She stared and squinted until she could just make out its vivid hues and the two dark green leaves jutting from its crown.

It was at that moment that she knew she just had to have it.

She struggled to get the ladder out of the garage. Why did Jim always insist on putting things up so high and out of reach. Eventually she managed to prop it up against the tree. Gingerly she reached up and stepped on the first rung. It twisted under her weight as the left leg sunk into the soft ground but she ignored it. Taking a deep breath she placed one foot over another and pulled herself cautiously up into the tree’s canopy.

She felt the morning sun on her back when she eventually reached the top and stretched up to grasp it in her right hand. It felt hard and cold, almost unappealing. As though it didn't want to be plucked. She slowly closed her fingers around its smooth skin and tugged. The branch bent and bounced back when the stalk suddenly snapped. She'd got it.

The prize in her hand she quickly clambered down and ran to the kitchen. It wobbled when she placed it on the kitchen work surface like one of those Russian dolls to finish upright on its tail. Then taking Jim’s eight inch kitchen knife she neatly split it from top to bottom so the two halves rolled in unison on the granite top to expose their hidden flesh. She felt a twinge of excitement just like Eve must have done in the Garden of Eden.

As she looked down at her prize she noticed that the right hand half had a small brown spot on its fleshy part. She bent down and then quickly jerked back in revulsion as a grub poked its head out of the otherwise unblemished apple.


Instructions for WAG #9 – Warning!

Last week the topic was to make something ugly sound beautiful, so this time let’s do the opposite! Choose an unfamiliar object (in other words, one you have no history with) that strikes you as beautiful, appealing, or somehow desirable etc… some ideas might be: a child, a sunset, an attractive shop window, a scenic view, a piece of art, an appetising meal in a restaurant… and write about it in such as way as to make it unappealing or even disgusting, frightening or repulsive to your reader. If you did last week’s topic as well (Rose Coloured Glasses) I’d be very interested to know which of these was harder for you!

6 comments:

  1. I like this... the comparison to Eve left me wondering what secrets this woman held!

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  2. I liked how appealing you made the fruit sound and it was already occupied at the end. Nice twist.

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  3. Hehe, very nice last minute twist. You had me thinking she was going to fall down off the ladder, but this was much better.

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  4. Very well written, Peter; I especially appreciated the twist in the ladder--how often has that happened to me hehehe and the twist at the end. With Nixy, the suggestion of Eve was strongly present, perhaps her name was Emma Violet Edwards and all her friends just called her "EVE," wife of Adam James Edwards. At any rate, you created a strong sense of how we can be pulled and disappointed by desire.

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  5. Good piece. I missed last week, and will have to go back and read what you did for that one. I liked the bit of misdirection, with the uncertain footing of the ladder. Like Gunnar, I was expecting a fall.

    And I like the little insight you gave us into how you write. I always enjoy hearing how others approach the art.
    ~jon

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  6. Hi Peter,

    This was a fun piece. Knowing what the assignment was, I waited in suspense for the ugly bit- brilliant!

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