Sunday, 16 May 2010

A Piece of Fiction – The Start of Something...

I wrote the this piece of fiction for WAG#22 (Writing Adventure Group). The challenge was to observe a stranger you'd think would make a good main character, and describe their physical features accurately so they come over as real individuals and not cardboard cut-outs.

The Start of Something...

Laura slowly opened and closed her fists and relaxed deeper into the crimson bathwater. She dreamily watched the blood ooze from her right wrist and swim like smoke into the water. She wondered how things had ended up like this.

Ten hours earlier everything was very different.

Her hair was short and her face thin. She recoiled back from the mirror and turned away in disgust. She hated her hair. Black and curly. She looked like an elf. Pointed ears, matching nose and no chin. At least she didn't have to worry about her figure. She looked athletic, which is the polite version of skinny. If anything she could do with a few more curves. But as she went to the gym four times a week and hardly ate, that was unlikely. And then there was the London marathon that she did last week.

She applied a slight coat of very pale lipstick and the silver earrings that were shaped like French beans. She'd chosen them because they showed off her thin face and highlighted her striking scarf. Black with thousands of silver sequins made it look like an alligator skin. The whole effect went well with her short black leather jacket and indigo skinny jeans. She stepped into her black ankle boots, the ones with the macho straps over the insteps, and stood back to admire herself.

Yes. Now she was ready for whatever the world threw at her.


  1. Wow... your opening paragraph gave everything else such a sinister tone. Well done on making me sit up and pay attention from the first line!

  2. I agree with India, your opening paragraph commanded attention. From that point on I hung on every word to try and learn the cause.

  3. Great description. I'm really curious what brought her to this point.

  4. Enticing opening, I too want to know what happened next!

  5. Ooh I want to know what brought the girl at the end to the girl at the beginning, very striking beginning.

  6. I guess the world threw something at her that couldn't be covered by a chic wardrobe. Riveting, Strother.

  7. Great piece, although it made me sad. I wish she could have believed that final thought.
    -Caroline D.